Jimmy Hall

Whilst reading yesterday’s paper on the tube on the way into work this morning.  I saw something that really tickled my fancy.  Before I explain, let me let you into a little secret.  Shhh.  I like singing and like doing it in the shower. 

Bearing this in mind, you might be surprised to know that I don’t own a shower radio or anything like that.  Oh how things have changed for the better.  I saw this in the Independent.

A duck shaped speaker for taking into the bath!

It’s clearly the best thing I’ve EVER seen.  So I immediately went out and bought myself one.  More useless tat for me to lug around – possibly.  Something to make me enjoy the shower more?  Definitely!

I wish I could claim that I wrote these witty rules, however, I have shamelessly lifted them from this excellent book by Caroline Taggart and J. A. Wines.

1. Verbs have to agree with their subjects.
2. Remember to never split an infinitive.
3. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
4. Never use a big word when a diminutive one will suffice.
5. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
6. Use the apostrophe in it’s proper place and omit it when its not needed.
7. Eliminate unnecessary references.  As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, ‘I hate quotations.’
8. Who needs rhetorical questions?
9. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
10. Last but not least, avoid clichés likes the plague.